Refusing To Be Defeated

"Never be defeated. I never was, no matter what challenges I faced. For as a disciple personally trained by that great lion king, Josei Toda, I refused to be defeated" (SGI President Ikeda, Jan. 30 World Tribune, p. 5).

On New Years day, I made a determination in front of the Gohonzon that I would do my human revolution no matter what obstacles came my way. I was encouraged by reading SGI President Ikeda’s guidance and felt deep in my heart that all the struggles I have faced since practicing Buddhism have caused me to grow into a person I am proud of.

I have been chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo now for four years now and have fought and changed so much in my environment. But the one thing I have continued to struggle with, at the core of my life, is my self-esteem.

As a single young woman living in the Bay Area, I see this as the fundamental root of what causes young women to suffer, and the way we see ourselves is reflected back in our workplace, with our families and in all our personal relationships.

Soon after I made this determination, my environment responded with an answer. A new relationship ended, and a job that I had contracted with until Jan. 23 came to an abrupt close. By acknowledging that my environment was responding to my prayer, I saw that my job and my relationships would never be the source of my self-worth. Knowing this in my heart reignited my determination to win.

This time, money is finding me no matter what is happening in my environment. I also have the fortune of more time to support many other young women in faith—something I am honored to do on behalf of my mentor, President Ikeda.

I now substitute teach, which gives me time to spend with my students and other children who I am getting to know. I am continuing to fight my negativity on a daily basis and chanting to radiate Nam-myoho-renge-kyo like a beacon of light that will touch everyone I meet.

The way I prove the greatness of my mentor is through my own example as an extraordinary woman.

President Ikeda writes: “In a diary entry, Tolstoy wrote, “This ordeal is necessary for me, it’s beneficial for me.” He cherished the conviction that “one who knows how to endure hardship will never be unhappy” (Jan. 30 World Tribune, p. 5).

Name: Mary Ann Malkos
Years of practice: 4
Region: Oakland East Bay South